Here is another set of parenting tips to help keep you on track. I have explained the reason for each one and what the results can/might be if you are lucky!
Love, hugs and play are all great but when you do not impose boundaries and certain ground rules, things may get out of hand. The child’s whims begin to assume enormous importance and when he or she sees that they are getting results- boy, do they rinse and repeat! It works every time and the parent is no longer in control.
Why? Makes life so much easier!
Result:- Children really do need limits and they love routine as well. It helps to keep things in a framework which is reassuring. But those limits are also useful in helping the child to discover the world in safety.
Limits and rules are all about helping kids to function in the world they are growing up in. These rules will help them to do just that — that is the real meaning of discipline, not punishment.
2. Talk less and listen more
The parent’s best and most valuable gift is being a great listener. When your child wants to tell you something, just listen, don’t interrupt with advice, warnings or criticism.
Try to SHOW you are listening by making appropriate body language gestures such as nodding, maintaining eye contact and switching off your phone. Make a few comments such as “I understand” or “I hear ya” but keep these to a minimum.
Use normal statements instead of questions because these are more reassuring, I can tell you.
For example, if you say “Seems like you are worried about talking to your teacher about it.” is much less threatening than “Why don’t you talk to your teacher about it “or “What is holding you back?”
After all that, you can try to help by offering suggestions or work out together what the pros and cons of possible solutions might be.
Why? Kids appreciate the chance to get it off their chest with no interruptions. Teens appreciate it when you show empathy for the turbulent period they are going through.
Result:- Your child realizes he or she had an ally and that they can confide in you. Builds trust and helps them and you to bond.
3. Get your kids involved in chores
I read yesterday about a college student who had never helped at home because he never had to do the chores. He was completely at sea when he had to share a flat with some roommates. He did not know how to wash clothes, do the dishes, buy food, prepare even the simplest meal or manage a budget. No wonder he felt totally useless!
Why? Teaches them not to take for granted that a meal will be on the table when they come back from football practice.
Result: Prepares them for the real world and helps them gain skills and practice in managing money, cooking and cleaning. Why raise a spoiled brat? They will also be a much more attractive partner when they meet someone they might love or even marry.
4. Don’t forget to play
I mean ‘play’ in the real sense of the word. That is going out with your kids and doing sports, walks, playing games, enjoying pets and so on. It does not mean that they should swap Facebook pics and posts or Instagram stuff.
Why? Play is crucial for a child’s development and also later on for bonding when they grow up. It also helps to prevent behavior problems and avoids kids feeling lonely and getting addicted to their screens. Organizing trips and outings are great and they will learn to enjoy the wonderful things in the world.
Result: You are helping your child to learn and grow up in the best possible way.
5. Teach them how to be citizens of the world
Set the example by caring for others. Talk about your values of honesty, hard work, caring for the less fortunate. Teach them not to be so critical of people because of their appearance, race or sexual orientation.
Kids are great copy cats so why not set them a great example? That is a treasure they will cherish all their lives, Hopefully, they will pass on the same values to their own kids. They will truly be citizens of the world.
Why? They learn about empathy. They will know that their empathy quotient (EQ) will often get them what they want in life. In many areas, it is more important than their grades or IQ!
Result: You have raised a great kid who is balanced, responsible, joyful and caring. What could be a greater reward than that?
Try these 5 tips to see if this makes parenting easier for you and the whole family!