After a Break Up — Time to Move On
When we have feelings of loss and pain after a breakup, we need to plan how we move on. Here are some ways we can plan our next journey. Many of these have worked for me because I focused on looking ahead and not back. A sense of loneliness and isolation is always hard.
Accepting what has happened
We keep going over the whole scenario on how we should have reacted to the dishonesty and the verbal abuse we had to put up with. We need to reassure ourselves that we are not weak nor even losers but we can and must be better, more attractive, and stronger in the next round of the relationship match.
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us” — Alexander Graham Bell
No stalking allowed
Forget about stalking and let’s hope s/he has the same idea. But snooping on each other’s social media is a form of lighter stalking. This is toxic stuff so we have to be really disciplined here.
Give yourself a break
We need to spoil ourselves here. We had to hold back because we were always putting our partner first. Now, we are the number one and we can splurge on treats and spoil ourselves for a change. New sports or luxury items can be bought with impunity and there will be no one snooping over our shoulder and asking how much all that cost!
Better and healthier than ever
We need to get into a new frame of mind mentally and physically. Looking after our health is the best way here. Just think that we are going to be so much more appealing when we are ready for the next adventure.
I found that fitness and looking after my diet were great ways to project a much more positive me. I found some great ways such as learning how to boost my ego and confidence.
Look up old friends
We often neglected our friends and family. We were so obsessed with our partner that old friends and sometimes even family were forgotten or were way down the list of our priorities. I tended to avoid those gossipy friends who were far too curious but was able to rebuild friendships I had almost abandoned.
It is great to start going to new haunts and you also lessen the risk of meeting our ex again. It also gives us a chance to meet new friends and savor some of the joys of a new ambiance where we may meet our next partner.
Finally, I found that there was no need to be bitter or cynical because I had learned a lot.
But I was not prepared to lower my standards in what I wanted in a new relationship. I am proud of my talents and empathy.
I am turning over a new leaf and starting to live again.
“I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken, and I’d rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken pieces as long as I lived” -Margaret Mitchell (author of Gone With The Wind)